Now that the Cubs won the World Series, where does that leave the Jets?

I think its time that the world embraces the fact that the New York Jets are cursed. I’m talking Red Sox and Cubs cursed. And to the belief that Boston and Chicago’s curses were worse due to longevity: would anyone think the Jets would have produced more championships if they had more time? It would be even worse and we all know it. Of course, these teams lifted their curses in 2004 and 2016, respectively. Steve Bartman goes back to being a guy who refused to accept the extinction of the Walkman. Now that these two teams got the proverbial monkeys off their backs, there’s one other team that still walks in the darkness. And it doesn’t look like it’s going to end any time soon.

There needs to be a documentary created about the suffering of Jets’ fans. I remember watching the HBO specials The Curse of the Bambino and Wait Till Next Year. Parades of Red Sox and Cubs fans chronicled their personal miseries as they recalled the most renowned hard-luck moments in their histories. There were even celebrity fans that chimed in; Denis Leary went on a foul-mouthed tirade about seeing Wade Boggs riding a police horse through Yankee Stadium after they won the World Series. Jeff Garlin spoke about his unconditional love for the Cubbies. I’m pretty sure that glazed doughnuts were a close second. The bottom line is that the creation of these documentaries legitimized the acceptance of the curses of both teams.

The history of the Jets is not for the faint of heart. After Joe Namath, the Fu Manchu wearing, lady slaying, Alabama Crimson Tide loving quarterback came and went, the team hasn’t had a viable quarterback. In addition to that severe deficiency, the team is a recipient of tough luck. We all remember when Vinny Testaverde blew his knee out in the ’99 season opener; when Doug Brien missed not one but two game-winning field goals; the time when the Jets avenged a 40+ point defeat on Monday Night Football to the Patriots by beating them in the AFC Divisional round only to come up short against the Steelers the next week. The list goes on and on.

I would imagine this Jets documentary to include the likes of depressed residents of the Tri-State area. They would sit in what looked like doctors’ offices; for some reason books would need to be in view at all times. I guess this would be done so Jets fans could relate to times they were at therapists’ offices. Celebrity fans would also be brought in. Imagine Adam Sandler, in his childlike muttering from Billy Madison, explaining his experience of Doug Brien’s missed field goals:

A.S.: Uh, yeah you know, Brien was ready to send us to New England. I uh remember when he missed it. [lifting his hands up and shaking them as his facial expression resembles that of a guy in the middle of constipated episode on the toilet] YABAHABADOO!

Sidebar: Adam Sandler is the king of the played-out shtick in movies that no one seemed to call him out on; the shtick being his child-like voice and Scooby-Doo sounding expressions. He rose to fame on Saturday Night Live with the likes of Canteen Boy and he just seemed to go with that voice in feature films i.e. Billy Madison. It started getting old, of course, but we allow him to continue using it. 

adam sandler blew it

The icing on the cake would definitely be the inclusion of a fat celebrity fan. The Cubs documentary had Jeff Garlin, the Red Sox documentary had Michael Chiklis, and this Jets documentary would definitely have Kevin James. As soon as he would show his face, and it would probably be a quick cut to him, halfway through his diatribe, we would all say “Ok, this is legit.” And I’d imagine his gut-wrenching experience would start with “I remember standing in line at the concession stand, watching that little television…”

So when did this curse begin? The Red Sox faithful blame the selling of Babe Ruth to the dreaded New York Yankees back in 1919. According to Fever Pitch, which basically ate and then regurgitated the screenplay of the aforementioned Curse of the Bambino, then-Sox owner Harry Frazee decided to ship Ruth to New York in order to fund the production of one of his plays entitled “No, No, Nanette.” I’m sure that if you looked in a phone directory in all of New England prior to 2004, there would be not one Nanette listed. Of course the plan backfired; Frazee’s play bombed and Ruth went on to be considered the greatest baseball player of all time.

In the context of the Chicago Cubs, their curse started when a Greek tavern owner was asked to leave Wrigley Field during the ’45 World Series because his pet billy goat’s odor was discomforting the fans. As he was escorted out, he supposedly said that no World Series would ever again be played in Wrigley Field. Two things: 1. Why did this guy own a billy goat? Couldn’t he find a more traditional pet like a dog or a cat? and 2. How did the guy even get through the door at Wrigley? I can’t even walk into a sporting event with a bottle but this guy was able to bring in a billy goat. Anyway, no matter how ridiculous this sounds, this guy William Sianis’ words rang true for over 70 years.

So going back to the birth of the Jets curse. Where can this thing be pinpointed? As much as I would love to hear fellow fans chime in on this, I say that it all started when Joe Namath guaranteed the winning of Super Bowl III. The Jets were heavy underdogs. They were up against a juggernaut in the Baltimore Colts. Going back to this, doesn’t it just get you nauseous that a team like the Colts were blessed with so many great quarterbacks? Unitas, Manning, Luck. The Colts sucked in 1999 and were able to lock up the first overall pick to take Peyton Manning.

Sidebar: The Jets were poised to select Peyton Manning with the first overall selection in 1998. In what might have been the best decision of his career, Manning decides to stay at Tennessee for his senior year. And lets just say Manning declares for the ’98 draft and the Jets take him. You know the Jets would have gotten Cooper Manning instead of Peyton. I’m positive this team could have had Lombardi as a coach and nothing to show for it. 

manning draft

In 2011, Manning gets hurt at the most perfect time, sits out the year and we get to watch Kerry Collins and Curtis Painter lead the Colts to a 2–14 season. That record was good enough to land them the first overall pick and they take Andrew Luck. Yep, the rich get richer. And here us Jets fans sit, still waiting for that franchise quarterback. I guess that’s how life goes.

Tangents aside, I still say that Namath’s guarantee should be considered the apex of the Jets curse. Even though Namath backed up his words, he must’ve pissed off the football gods. “There goes that brash Namath, calling us out like that,” growled heavenly football players resting on puffy clouds in the skies. He could care less about lining up against Unitas, that an AFL team had yet to win a Super Bowl, or that a fur coat was a risky fashion statement to make.

Following the miraculous win, Namath made a gesture that surely went too far among the gods who were probably sitting on a couch, watching the game from above: he pointed his finger to the sky. I don’t know about anyone else but my parents taught me not to point. Its considered rude. Namath probably knew this too. Let’s just say it was his big “fuck you” to all who doubted the Jets. Unfortunately for future generations of fans, it was a death sentence.

namath gif

Of course, Joe Namath was unaware of his complicity in the birth of the Jets curse. I bet if he could, he would definitely take it back. That Super Bowl was the last one the Jets won and it was also the last one that the franchise has been to. Coincidence? I think not.

This past October, the Chicago Cubs shocked the world and finally won a World Series. It was their first championship since 1908. Prior to 2016, the franchise had not won a pennant since 1945. If you’re keeping score at home, that guy and his billy goat were thrown out of Wrigley during the ’45 World Series. In an even eerier fashion, the Cubs actually defeated the Dodgers in the NLCS on the anniversary of Sianis’ death.

The Boston Red Sox exercised the Curse of the Bambino in 2004. Liev Schreiber, the narrator of not only the Red Sox HBO documentary but every other documentary ever created, noted that Edgar Renteria made the final out of that series. The number he was wearing? That’s right. Number 3. “Just like the Babe,” Schreiber quips. Isn’t sports great?

So I guess we can all agree that some sort of eerily coincidental event has to occur during the exercising of the Jets curse. Maybe their Super Bowl victory will occur on the anniversary of Rex Ryan’s lap band surgery. Or news will break that Brett Favre inadvertently sent an inappropriate text message to a Jets employee as the winning field goal goes through the uprights. Who knows. All I can say is that now that the Cubs got off the last stop of the Pain Train, the Jets are the lone travelers.

Advertisements

My Reaction to ESPN First Take

I’m sitting at home, flipping through the channels and I stopped it on ESPN. The main reason I stopped it was because I saw LaVar Ball screaming like a madman. The split-second I had the channel on, I heard screeches that were like those of Godzilla wreaking havoc on a city. Naturally, I went back to the channel to see what the hell was going on. And boy, did I make the right choice!

I was waiting for Ball to make a statement like “I could run the EPA” or “I could out eat Joey Chestnut in a hot dog eating contest,” but what we got was a person louder and crazier than Ball: Stephen A. Smith.

I had the channel on for a good 5 minutes and the only words I understood were (please do your Smith and Ball impressions while reading)”BLASPHEMOUS” and “MY BOYS.” It was as if I was repeatedly hitting myself in the fucking face with a hammer. Only in this scenario, I sadly was still conscious.

As I was slowly going in and out of consciousness, I saw a banner on the bottom of the page that read “TOMORROW AT 11: MICHAEL IRVING.” I must say, it was good marketing. You mean I get to watch Stephen A do the same shit again tomorrow? Of course, I’m tuning in!

My guilty pleasure had finally arrived, it was 11 AM. Michael Irving, the greatest wide receiver in Dallas Cowboys history, is going to go head to head, mono e mono, with biggest Cowboy Hater this side of the Mississippi. And my lord, was it everything I expected.

Within twenty-seven seconds, Stephen A was screaming at Irving as if he was his son who accidentally broke his stereo system. “BA-LAS-PHE-MOUS!” Irving was sweating like Frosty the Snowman on a warm summers day. It was so loud, Max Kellerman probably couldn’t even formulate a thought in his head while this shit was going on. He literally just sat there like “yea, guess I’m not talking for a while.” Here’s the entire transcript of the segment.

Smith- BLASPHEMOUS!

Irving- (DRIP…….DRIP)

Smith- BLASPHEMOUS!

IRVING- (DRIP….DRIP)

Molly Qerim- What about Romo?

Smith- TWO PLAYOFF WINS IN TEN YEARS!

Irving- (DRIP….DRIP)

Smith- TWO PLAYOFF WINS IN TEN YEARS!

IRIVNG- (DRIP….DRIP)

Riveting stuff, really. All of this was going on while Seahawks corner back Richard Sherman was just sitting there, silent. He had an expression on his face like every Jets fan has on their face. One that read “how the fuck did I get here” or “Now what?” Either way, it made for great television. If you consider great television senseless babbling.

Top 5 Fat Guys I Enjoyed to Watch

In honor of Eddie Lacy signing his new contract with the Seahawks (it’s believed Seattle is paying him by the pound), it got me thinking. It’s amazing to see such out of shape athletes who play their sport above average. The physical demand each sport requires makes it even more enjoyable when we see a fat guy excel at their preferred sport. And while he’s round like a Swiss ball, it’s very hard to stop Lacy in his tracks. So, who are the five fattest, most out of shape athletes I enjoyed watching growing up?

5) David Wells

The YES Networks slogan is “Power. Pride. Pinstripes.” After watching David Wells pitch, it should’ve been immediately changed to “Power. Pride. Split Pants.”  When he wore his home Yankee jersey, it looked as though the pinstripes were being pulled apart by the jaws of life. But even though he was a rather large gentleman, he was a good pitcher. Pitching to a 239-157 career record, his ERA was a touch over 4. Those are respectable career numbers for anyone, let alone a man who looked like he knew his way around a Wendy’s drive-thru. You think anyone affiliated with the Yankees would’ve ever thought they’d hear the phrase “he’ll definitely give Babe Ruth a run for his money” ever? Well it came up when Wells signed with New York in 1997. Rather than comparing talent, they were actually comparing waist sizes.

4) John Kruk

While he wasn’t the biggest man during his playing days, Kruk is now the size of a Mister Softee ice cream truck. People thought ESPN fired Curt Schilling back in 2015 because he’s a racist, sexist big mouth? While he’s all of those, they really fired the Bloody Sock and replaced him with Jessica Mendoza because they couldn’t fit Kruk in the booth with two other guys. I remember being in Atlantic City a couple of years ago, when the Phillies inducted Kruk into their wall of fame. They escorted him on field in an ATV. The shocks this thing must’ve had, I thought it was going to capsize like the Titanic. I’m not a betting man, but I would’ve bet the house that ATV would’ve spun out of control with all of that added weight.

3) Glen Davis

The man was nicknamed “Big Baby.” Should I even continue this blurb? There was nothing funnier than seeing Davis run up and down the court. He was hustling, running, fat jiggling and all. I remember watching a Knicks-Celtics game back at the TD Garden, when Davis was running up the court and fell. I swear to God, I thought the leprechaun at center court dropped his pipe. I felt my couch rumble and I was sitting almost 250 miles away. Imagine getting stuck in a pick that Big Baby was setting. Good luck, whoever you may be. It was like you were running straight away than Bubba Ray Dudley came out of nowhere and cracked you with a folding chair. “Devon, get the tables!”

2) Prince Fielder

Are you guys seeing a trend on this list yet? While it isn’t a scientific fact, baseball has more fat guys per capita than any other sport. While he was large and in charge, Fielder was a good ballplayer. But there was nothing funnier to me than seeing Fielder hit a weak ball in the infield and run to first base. How many cheeseburger eating contests do you think Fielder and Miguel Cabrera got into when Fielder was traded to Detroit? Oh, that’s right. Fielder was a “vegetarian.” Prince Fielder is to vegetarians what Aaron Hernandez is to law abiding citizen. He may have been a Prince on the field, but he was definitely the King of the food court.

1) Bartolo Colon

The Big Sexy isn’t only number 1 on this list, but he’s number 1 in our hearts. Tipping the scales at almost 300 pounds, he’s 43 years old. I don’t know what’s more impressive; pitching into your mid 40’s or being able to pitch on a strict diet of big macs and arroz con pollo. Being only two teams away from a dozen for his career, he’s definitely taken down a dozen donuts on numerous occasions. Now pitching for the Braves, southern barbecue joints must’ve been ecstatic when Colon put pen to paper and decided Atlanta would be next on his all-you-can-eat hit list.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

CC Sabathia- Fun Fact: The man’s first name is Cap’n Crunch. It would be upsetting if he WASN’T 300 pounds.

John Daly- He smokes, drinks and curses like a sailor. All while he’s on the golf course. Imagine what this guy would do for a klondike bar.

Mo Vaughn- People think he only stole money from the Mets. He also stole all the cold cut spreads before and after games.

 

The Mecca of Basketball No More

What we saw last night at the Garden was the most pathetic thing since we saw the Knicks get manhandled by the 17-win Lakers just two days before. You ask yourselves “what can this franchise do to embarrass themselves even more?” And then they go on and do it.

In a crazy scene at the Garden last night, Knicks legend Charles Oakley was apprehended and arrested for what at first was rumored to be an altercation involving Knicks owner and full-time dope James Dolan.

Let me be the first to say that when you see police and security, no matter what you did or did not do, shoving them and creating more of a scene is not going to end well. But when you find out that the worst thing you did was buy tickets to watch this barn fire of a franchise, what happened yesterday takes the cake.

Charles Oakley was the embodiment of New York and New Yorkers during his Knicks-playing days. With his physicality and over the top defense, Oakley was a huge part of the good Knicks teams of the 90’s.  The phrase “blood, sweat and tears” was probably first said by someone who was in attendance watching Oakley give 110% every time he laced his sneakers up.

Even more embarrassing to me is the fact that the Knicks would allow Oakley to purchase tickets to watch the game, rather than have a seat with his name on it for whenever he wanted to show up and watch this pathetic excuse of a team. But we’ve seen the Knicks do this to their franchise players in the past. Whether it was screwing Patrick Ewing or Mark Jackson – two of their own – out of coaching gigs, this is nothing new to James Dolan.

Even more sickening is how the Knicks PR Team tweeted out this response in regards to the situation moments after it happened:

“Charles Oakley came to the game tonight and behaved in a highly inappropriate and completely abusive manner. He has been ejected and is currently being arrested by the New York City Police Department. He was a great Knick and we hope he gets some help soon.”

You hope he gets help soon? I find it ironic how a franchise that hasn’t been relevant since 1973 hopes someone gets help soon. The best way to achieve that would be for James Dolan to take his guitar, his harmonica, more of his father’s money and take a nice long walk. Maybe he could take Phil Jackson with him, too. Because the way these two have treated former and current Knicks is almost as much of a joke as this pathetic team from Manhattan.

Current Events: A Mafioso and a Ping Pong Table

Per multiple news outlets (NY Daily News, NY Post, etc.), ex-mafia boss Thomas Gioeli is suing for a slip and fall suffered at the Brooklyn Metropolitan Detention Center back in 2013. Here’s an excerpt from the NY Post.

“A portly ex-Colombo mob boss is suing the feds for $10 million over a slip-and-fall during a prison ping-pong match.

Thomas “Tommy Shots” Gioeli was enjoying a game of table tennis at Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center near a “leaky slop sink pipe,” and slipped in the grimy liquid, according to court papers.

The Post first reported Gioeli’s tumble in 2014, after he filed the initial complaint which conveniently left out the details of his prison extracurriculars.

The slip occurred in August 2013 while the chunky mafia boss — who carried a “man purse” to trial — was waiting for assignment to a prison to serve his 18-year sentence for racketeering and conspiracy to commit murder.” (NY Post, By: Emily Saul, 2/7/17)

First off, bravo to this writer for calling out Gioeli at every chance she could. This story should bear more credence as to why America is the greatest country in the world. Because even when you’re a slime ball going through an 18-year prison sentence for attempted murder, you could still sue an organization for millions upon millions of dollars.

In what seemed like something Fredo from The Godfather would get himself into, who knew that the biggest nemesis to wiseguys wasn’t the authorities, but in fact wet floors. The only way this would’ve been more like Fredo is if someone told Gioeli that the floor was slippery and he still proceeded to walk towards the wet surface. “YOU DO NOT COME TO LAS VEGAS AND TALK TO MOE GREENE LIKE THAT!”

Next up, that ridiculous nickname. You’re in the Colombo crime family and the best name you could think of is “Tommy Shots?” Maybe if this guy put more thought into his “work,” or chose an entirely different career, he wouldn’t have been subjected to playing table tennis in prison in the first place.

Either way, it’s funny to me to picture this guy playing ping pong with other criminals, trying to relive his glory days. “You don’t understand, I DID actually shoot people. I still don’t understand why my wife kept a scrap book of mementos that could possibly put me away for the rest of my life.” “Yea, that’s great. Can you just serve the ball, please?”

Throwback Tuesday: The Best Movies From the 1980’s

What better decade to indulge than the 1980s. Especially written by a guy who was born in the 90’s.

Whether it was screaming the words to a song by Toto (you know you have), or hopping in your dad’s Thunderbird, we all need at least one weekend where we can dream it is in fact 1985. But what are the top five guy movies from the 80s? Obviously, everyone’s opinion is different, but we know our list is tops. It’s not even a debate, really. So, grab some microwave popcorn, blow out that Billy Idol hair, throw on those acid-wash jeans, and crank up the volume on these top 5 guy movies from a decade where hair was big and problems seemed small.

back-to-the-80s

5- The Goonies 

“HEY YOU GUYS!” The Goonies was a classic adventure movie that we all related to. Every group of friends had a Chunk, Mouth and an over-excited, asthmatic all American son. Who can forget the overbearing, fitness-obsessed older brother? The great thing about the Goonies was the excitement that all viewers experienced as the group of friends traversed the underground dwellings in search of buried treasure. The addition of Sloth and the sleazy Fratelli’s made the Goonies a comical movie, as well. And let’s be honest: who didn’t think this movie was taking a weird turn when they heard the name “One Eyed Willie” for the first time?

4- Rocky IV

If you weren’t already sick to your stomach, yes, there was another. Only this time, Rocky takes his talents to the Soviet Union. Motivated by the death of his trainer, Chubbs, I mean Apollo Creed, Rocky is training in the snowy mountains of Russia. I still don’t understand how not having a TV was that big of a deal, but apparently, it worked. Bored to death, I too would train like a wild dog on a steady diet of gun powder. He’s bearded, he’s Italian, and he’s ready to end Communism with the help of his new trainer, wife Adrian and mooching brother-in-law Paulie. Not even a roid-raged Drago could stop this Philadelphian Hero. Take that, Commies!

3- National Lampoon’s Vacation 

The Griswold’s were America’s favorite family and Clark W. Griswold was its favorite dad. Who can blame the borderline psychotic patriarch who just wanted to make his family happy? This classic movie illustrated all that goes through the mind of the typical American father: subconscious attraction to a hot blonde stranger, hatred of his in-laws, and his resorting to committing armed robbery just so his kids can ride a roller coaster. If you are ever going to take anything from watching Vacation to bring to your tribulations as a family man: fly coach.

2- Youngblood

If you ever had a dream of being an NHLer with the looks of Rob Lowe, talent like Bryan Trottier, and Patrick Swayze as a line mate, Youngblood is the movie for you. A rural New York farmer travels to Canada for tryouts with the Hamilton Mustangs and obviously finds hardships. He makes the team, but boy does he get his ass kicked. Falling in love with the coach’s daughter, who was a hottie, is an obvious no-no. But Youngblood cannot resist, and is eventually driven off the team by fear for his safety. Youngblood quickly returns, avenges the injury to teammate Swayze, and even becomes friends with his Mussolini-esque coach. This was basically The Outsiders on ice, with Canadian accents. Getting Keanu Reeves as the goalie saved this movie in overtime. See what I did there?

1- First Blood 

Sylvester Stallone makes the list for a second time in the original Survivorman. I’m still waiting for Bear Grylls to take down an entire small town sheriff’s department. Stallone stars as an elite Green Beret whose being refused a ham sandwich led to him completely losing his shit. Rambo rides into the woods and urges his predators that they drew first blood, not him. Little does the bumpkin sheriff know that he is dealing with a killing machine who probably took down Da Nang himself. This film not only has kick ass fighting scenes, but you could also learn how to survive during your next drunken camping trip.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Lucas: This COULD’VE BEEN the worst decision of Charlie Sheen’s life.

The Outsiders: Youngblood, sans hockey equipment.

Back to the Future: Fun Fact: Every high school student in the 1980’s befriended a scientist who was obviously on crack. If this movie was made today, Doc Brown would definitely be questioned as to why his best friend can’t get into an R-rated movie alone.

Stair-Lifts Power Rankings: Super Bowl Foods

We really don’t have better days to wake up on than Super Bowl Sunday. Or as I like to call it, Super Bowl “stuff your face and sit on the couch literally all day, then wake up tomorrow feeling even more guilty about cheating on your New Year’s Resolution” Sunday.

The only time we should remove ourselves from the couch is for two things: going into the kitchen to refill our plates, or when nature calls. It should be as though you have literally crazy-glued your ass to the couch. Don’t feel bad, it’s only once a year (for some of you degenerates out there).

But of course, whether you’re hosting a viewing party, or just staying in with your family, we need to get our behinds to the supermarket. Quick tip: If you leave early enough, you can get home in time to catch the nine-hour pregame show on Fox.

We always see power rankings, and have become obsessed with them. Whether they are preseason rankings, draft rankings, regular season rankings, we Americans love our rankings. Why should it be any different with food? What are the best foods to divulge in before, during, and after the game? Look no further, people.

                                  power-rankings

5- Mozzarella Sticks

How could you make cheese taste even better, yet worse for you? That’s right, fry it! A huge thank you to our French friends of the medieval times for breaking out this bad boy to what I assume was a party of some sort. It’s funny to think that of all the things our European brothers and sisters have developed and passed on to us, this was the thing that we took by the horns and ran with. “Free healthcare? Nope! Soccer? Nice try fancy pants! Fried Cheese? Pizzerias and chain restaurants across America rejoice!”

4- Onion Dip

This is like a twofer because we are obviously using some sort of chip to dip into the dip. While onion dip is my favorite of the salty and savory concoctions, plain chips are my favorite things to dip in it. The good thing about onion dip is that it just sits there, on the table, for the entirety of the game. You could go to it…wait….go to it….wait, so on and so forth. And it’s just sitting there, waiting for you. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is. “Why don’t you believe in me like the onion dip does, honey?!?!”

3- Potato Skins

Do you remember the scene in “Forrest Gump,” when Bubba is telling Forrest the exact number of ways you could prepare shrimp? “You could barbecue it, boil it, bake it, sauté it….” you guys get the picture. You could pretty much do the same thing with potatoes, too. You could mash it, bake it, fry it, roast it……but something else you could do to it? After you bake it, you could slice them up, top it with cheese and bacon, broil that sucker, and serve with sour cream. That right there is more American than a bald eagle, the constitution and guns, all rolled up into one. Taste that? Tastes like freedom.

2- Wings

In a shocking move, wings are not in our coveted top spot. While they are second on our list, they are still glorious. Tiny pieces of chicken, fried and lathered in barbecue sauce. I can hear arteries getting clogged already. I’m more of a boneless honey-BBQ and ranch sauce kind of guy, but I don’t discriminate. Just pour me a beer and give me a bowl of wings and you won’t hear me speak for the rest of the night. Until I need a refill, of course.

1- Nachos

I have become more of a nacho guy over the last few years, but it was love at first bite. You have chips, two types of beans and cheese to melt it all together. I didn’t even mention things like jalapenos, lettuce or tomatoes, and no one even noticed. That’s how good nachos are, even with nothing on them.  Because of this invention, Mexico should build a wall around themselves to keep us Americans out to steal their recipes again.

Honorable Mentions

Guacamole- Overrated? Yes. Still good? Yes.

Fondue- While we see less and less of these, nothing like molten hot cheese to dip things in.

Salsa- While it’s taken some hits the last few years, it’s still a damn good snack.

Whether you like these foods or not, the Super Bowl was meant to be watched while we all stuff our faces. So sit on the couch, grab the chips, grab a beer, and enjoy watching the most hated team in football ruin your days yet again this season.