Current Events: A Mafioso and a Ping Pong Table

Per multiple news outlets (NY Daily News, NY Post, etc.), ex-mafia boss Thomas Gioeli is suing for a slip and fall suffered at the Brooklyn Metropolitan Detention Center back in 2013. Here’s an excerpt from the NY Post.

“A portly ex-Colombo mob boss is suing the feds for $10 million over a slip-and-fall during a prison ping-pong match.

Thomas “Tommy Shots” Gioeli was enjoying a game of table tennis at Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center near a “leaky slop sink pipe,” and slipped in the grimy liquid, according to court papers.

The Post first reported Gioeli’s tumble in 2014, after he filed the initial complaint which conveniently left out the details of his prison extracurriculars.

The slip occurred in August 2013 while the chunky mafia boss — who carried a “man purse” to trial — was waiting for assignment to a prison to serve his 18-year sentence for racketeering and conspiracy to commit murder.” (NY Post, By: Emily Saul, 2/7/17)

First off, bravo to this writer for calling out Gioeli at every chance she could. This story should bear more credence as to why America is the greatest country in the world. Because even when you’re a slime ball going through an 18-year prison sentence for attempted murder, you could still sue an organization for millions upon millions of dollars.

In what seemed like something Fredo from The Godfather would get himself into, who knew that the biggest nemesis to wiseguys wasn’t the authorities, but in fact wet floors. The only way this would’ve been more like Fredo is if someone told Gioeli that the floor was slippery and he still proceeded to walk towards the wet surface. “YOU DO NOT COME TO LAS VEGAS AND TALK TO MOE GREENE LIKE THAT!”

Next up, that ridiculous nickname. You’re in the Colombo crime family and the best name you could think of is “Tommy Shots?” Maybe if this guy put more thought into his “work,” or chose an entirely different career, he wouldn’t have been subjected to playing table tennis in prison in the first place.

Either way, it’s funny to me to picture this guy playing ping pong with other criminals, trying to relive his glory days. “You don’t understand, I DID actually shoot people. I still don’t understand why my wife kept a scrap book of mementos that could possibly put me away for the rest of my life.” “Yea, that’s great. Can you just serve the ball, please?”


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