What better decade to indulge than the 1980s. Especially written by a guy who was born in the 90’s.
Whether it was screaming the words to a song by Toto (you know you have), or hopping in your dad’s Thunderbird, we all need at least one weekend where we can dream it is in fact 1985. But what are the top five guy movies from the 80s? Obviously, everyone’s opinion is different, but we know our list is tops. It’s not even a debate, really. So, grab some microwave popcorn, blow out that Billy Idol hair, throw on those acid-wash jeans, and crank up the volume on these top 5 guy movies from a decade where hair was big and problems seemed small.
5- The Goonies
“HEY YOU GUYS!” The Goonies was a classic adventure movie that we all related to. Every group of friends had a Chunk, Mouth and an over-excited, asthmatic all American son. Who can forget the overbearing, fitness-obsessed older brother? The great thing about the Goonies was the excitement that all viewers experienced as the group of friends traversed the underground dwellings in search of buried treasure. The addition of Sloth and the sleazy Fratelli’s made the Goonies a comical movie, as well. And let’s be honest: who didn’t think this movie was taking a weird turn when they heard the name “One Eyed Willie” for the first time?
4- Rocky IV
If you weren’t already sick to your stomach, yes, there was another. Only this time, Rocky takes his talents to the Soviet Union. Motivated by the death of his trainer, Chubbs, I mean Apollo Creed, Rocky is training in the snowy mountains of Russia. I still don’t understand how not having a TV was that big of a deal, but apparently, it worked. Bored to death, I too would train like a wild dog on a steady diet of gun powder. He’s bearded, he’s Italian, and he’s ready to end Communism with the help of his new trainer, wife Adrian and mooching brother-in-law Paulie. Not even a roid-raged Drago could stop this Philadelphian Hero. Take that, Commies!
3- National Lampoon’s Vacation
The Griswold’s were America’s favorite family and Clark W. Griswold was its favorite dad. Who can blame the borderline psychotic patriarch who just wanted to make his family happy? This classic movie illustrated all that goes through the mind of the typical American father: subconscious attraction to a hot blonde stranger, hatred of his in-laws, and his resorting to committing armed robbery just so his kids can ride a roller coaster. If you are ever going to take anything from watching Vacation to bring to your tribulations as a family man: fly coach.
If you ever had a dream of being an NHLer with the looks of Rob Lowe, talent like Bryan Trottier, and Patrick Swayze as a line mate, Youngblood is the movie for you. A rural New York farmer travels to Canada for tryouts with the Hamilton Mustangs and obviously finds hardships. He makes the team, but boy does he get his ass kicked. Falling in love with the coach’s daughter, who was a hottie, is an obvious no-no. But Youngblood cannot resist, and is eventually driven off the team by fear for his safety. Youngblood quickly returns, avenges the injury to teammate Swayze, and even becomes friends with his Mussolini-esque coach. This was basically The Outsiders on ice, with Canadian accents. Getting Keanu Reeves as the goalie saved this movie in overtime. See what I did there?
1- First Blood
Sylvester Stallone makes the list for a second time in the original Survivorman. I’m still waiting for Bear Grylls to take down an entire small town sheriff’s department. Stallone stars as an elite Green Beret whose being refused a ham sandwich led to him completely losing his shit. Rambo rides into the woods and urges his predators that they drew first blood, not him. Little does the bumpkin sheriff know that he is dealing with a killing machine who probably took down Da Nang himself. This film not only has kick ass fighting scenes, but you could also learn how to survive during your next drunken camping trip.
Lucas: This COULD’VE BEEN the worst decision of Charlie Sheen’s life.
The Outsiders: Youngblood, sans hockey equipment.
Back to the Future: Fun Fact: Every high school student in the 1980’s befriended a scientist who was obviously on crack. If this movie was made today, Doc Brown would definitely be questioned as to why his best friend can’t get into an R-rated movie alone.